Yes, soft.

— “What’s soft?”

Well, me. I’m soft.

I came to that kind of disappointing conclusion for a middle aged man today when I was watching The Revenant with Leo DiCaprio.

I decided to watch the movie today because wife and daughter are out for a few days on a trip and I’m home with my son. So instead of watching my typical “fatherhood” movies like Interstellar and Ad Astra, I decided to (try to) watch The Revenant for a change.

And I failed.

I can’t stand the violence anymore. That type of violence. A destroyed father about to be murdered in front of his son. Then, some time later, the son being killed next to his impotent ill father.

No, that’s too much.

I went to check when this movie was released. It was back in 2016, so ten years ago at the time of this writing. Time really flies. For a moment I thought it had been released during the pandemic.

I remember that the bear attack scene hit me harder than any other scene between father and son. And, of course, by 2016 I was already a father of two, so I must have felt anything… but I didn’t.

For some obscure reason to me, from the dark depths of my psyche, I cannot explain why I had to stop watching the movie today.

It just hit me too hard. Unbearable.

Same movie. Years passed. Soften man.